Seriously, this crap is out of control. My inbox is flooded with emails for miracle cures. How do I filter all this garbage? It's driving me insane.

• I just want get a actual email for once.
• Perhaps in another lifetime this will stop.
• {Until then|{Until that day arrives|I'm resigned to deleting spam all day long.

Spam: The Digital Poop In My Inbox

My inbox feels like a garbage dump/is overflowing with/is choked by spam. It's like someone is dumping/as if an automated bot is relentlessly pouring/throwing/sending digital poop into my virtual mailbox every day. Every time I try to get some work done/check for legitimate emails/enjoy a moment of peace, there it is: another {outrageous offer/unbelievable deal/suspicious message from some random company/person/scheme. It's enough to make me want to throw my computer out the window/delete my email account/scream into the void.

• I swear I didn't sign up for/How did they even get my email address?/Who gave them permission to bombard me with this junk?
• There are so many variations/It's always different/They use every trick in the book!
• Maybe one day I'll find a way to stop it/Someday they'll catch those spammers/Perhaps there's a magic spell for this problem.

This Spam Is Driving Me Crazy

Seriously, way too much is simply ridiculous. Every day I get flooded with your stupid junk mail for things I don't even want. I've attempted to unsubscribe, but it's like talking to a closed door. At this point, I'm just mad as hell.

• Stop sending me these emails already.
• Get a clue.
• I'm reporting your ass to the authorities.

End This Damn Spam You Goddamn Pieces Of Shit

Listen up, you bunch of cretins. This spam/junk fucking spam mail/crap needs to get the hell out here. I'm sick with your bullshit to scam/con/trick me.

You think you're so clever sending me this useless/pointless/worthless junk, but you're just a bunch of losers. I'm going to report/block/slander every single one of your emails/messages/schemes. So consider yourself warned.

• Get lost
• I'm not interested

Stop It Right Now, You Spamming Bastards!

Listen up, you scumbags! Your unwanted emails are clogging up inboxes and irritating people. We've had enough of your crap. This is your last chance to quit this. Keep sending that drivel, and we'll be forced to take you to court. Understand? You better believe it.

Seriously With Your Annoying Emails

You know you're so slick, sending out your garbage to every random person you can find. But guess what, moron? I don't care for your lies. Get a real job or find a hobby already.

• Drop Dead With Your Stupid Messages
• I have no time
• Get a real job or kill yourself already.